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Five things to never tell your friends about your relationship

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How much information is ‘too much information’?

Relationships go through all kinds of trials and tribulations, peaks and pits, and steady evolution’s. From butterflies in your stomach to pure anxiety over the unknown, if you haven’t felt the sensation of a roller-coaster while in a relationship then you are a sacred minority.

Ultimately, though, it’s a two person ride and privacy is imperative. While we all enjoy a juicy bit of gossip over brunch or drinks, our friends may not always want the full download on our relationship and we shouldn’t always want to give it either. Sometimes ‘too much information’ means exactly that.

Here are the top five things about your relationship that you shouldn’t share with friends;

  1. When you’re going through a sex slump

Going through a sex slump when in a relationship is totally normal; it’s nothing to worry about. Naturally, though, we overthink the situation and before you know it you’re detailing your dry season to your closest friends. But they’re not the person you want to have sex with. If your sex life has slowed down with your partner then speak to them about it, work through it and make time to be intimate together.

  1. Bedroom kink

What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. Your partner’s sexual fantasies were shared with you in the comfort of your relationship zone, which your friends weren’t invited to. Don’t divulge your partner’s dirty secrets to your besties; you don’t know how it could affect their view of him.

  1. Money issues

Only you can make your friends respect your partner, and if you’re bad-mouthing him behind his back you’re setting him up for failure. Money is the root of many arguments; whether you have too much or not enough. Keep your financial arrangements, like who pays more rent, who bought last week’s groceries or if you’ve had to lend him money to yourself.

  1. Playing away from home

Whether it’s an emotional or a physical affair, any acts that caused you or your partner to stray outside the confines of your relationship should be kept schtum. Friends have opinions and you may not want to hear them if you’re feeling fragile about the situation.  Sharing the details with your mates instead of your partner will make coming back from the affair even harder. Similarly, if you think that your partner is cheating then ask them, don’t use your friends as a soundboard for advice. Speculation is the enemy of calm.

  1. Details about his bits

It’s common to dish the details on your partner’s body when you first start dating them, men do it too and the conversations often get rowdy. But if you can see yourself with this person long-term, do you really want your mates to know what size he is or which direction it bends? If it’s something that could potentially embarrass him, leave it out.

8 awkward questions you were afraid to ask about…. Periods

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  1. Why is the blood a brownish colour at the start of a period?

A brownish colour usually indicates that it’s just older blood coming out, but it’s nothing to worry about. Most likely it’s some of the uterus lining left over from your last period, or you might just shed the lining at a slower rate so the blood turns brown before you see it on your tampon.

  1. Why does it sometimes smell a bit fishy downstairs during a period?

The blood itself doesn’t usually smell, but when it mixes with bacteria and sweat you might start to notice an unwelcome aroma. Changing your tampon or sanitary pad frequently to stop blood building up will really help, as will regular showers. But don’t be tempted to use harsh soaps, gently does it when you’re dealing with your delicate lady bits.

  1. Do orgasms really help period pain?

The great news is they do! Monthly cramps are caused by the uterus contracting to shed the endometrial lining. So those involuntary muscle spasms you feel in your body when things reach fever pitch, can help the uterus shed its lining more effectively and relieve the cramping. And if that wasn’t enough your body produces a hormone called oxytocin during sex, which acts like a natural pain reliever. Result!

  1. Are heavy periods something to worry about?

Some women just experience heavier periods which is usual for them, but if things suddenly change and your period gets heavier and stops you doing things, then speak to your GP about it. They will check there is nothing else going on such as fibroids and may be able to offer a change to your regular contraceptive pill to reduce the monthly bleed.

  1. Are large blood clots during a period something to worry about?

It’s not uncommon to experience blobs of blood up to the size of a cherry, particularly during the heavier days of your period. This is just a sign that your uterus lining is shedding particularly quickly. If however you start to get bigger blobs, or you are worried then speak to your GP about it. They will probably want to check for anaemia if you’re losing quite a bit of blood.

  1. Can you get pregnant during a period?

Irregular periods mean that you can experience bleeding at different times in your cycle, including while you’re ovulating, which means you can still get pregnant. What’s more, because sperm can live for up to five days inside the female reproductive tract, the window of conception opportunity gets even bigger. If you’ve had unprotected sex during your period or your usual form of contraception has failed and you don’t want to fall pregnant, you might want to consider using an emergency contraceptive. ellaOne is a morning after pill which contains ulipristal acetate – always read the label.

 

  1. Why do toilet habits change during a period?

During your period, the body produces hormone-like substances called prostaglandins, which is the sign to the uterus to start contracting and shed the lining. These same prostaglandins send a similar message to your bowels, which is why you can feel the need to go urgently and more frequently, sometimes with looser poo. If there are less prostaglandins, then that can cause constipation.

  1. Are there any alternatives to tampons and sanitary pads?

If you want to be more environmentally friendly and save money you can try reusable pads. Just throw them in the washing machine after every wear and they are ready to use again. You can also try a menstrual cup. These are little devices that sit inside your vagina to catch blood. You then remove the cup and rinse it out before replacing it. Alternatively, you can try wearable period pants – knickers which are designed to absorb blood without the need for a separate pad. The pants are then just washed as normal and used again.

Read about your choices here.

 

Women who kick ass!

We reckon it’s time to celebrate some of our most inspiring female role models

Inspiring women

 

J.K. Rowling, 51

Not only did she write the hugely successful Harry Potter series that turned into a global bestseller and mega film franchise, but she did it while she was a struggling single mum. Impressive enough, but she is also known her campaigning for the rights of people across the world and in particular women – encouraging young girls to aspire for more and be proud of their intelligence. Oh, and she’s also pretty funny if you’ve ever seen her Twitter feed. We don’t fancy anyone’s chances of outwitting her…

 

Laura Trott, 24

Laura is now Britain’s most successful female athlete having won four gold Olympic cycling medals at London 2012 and Rio 2016. That she’s achieved this incredible feat as a result of taking up cycling to overcome childhood asthma and being born prematurely with a collapsed lung makes us like her even more. Laura is full of inspiring words for women who don’t think they can be sporty but at the same time she doesn’t see being an ace sportswoman as incompatible with wearing dresses and make-up. “I’m a real girly girl, so the minute I’m not on the bike I make a real effort, even if I’m not going out. All made up, hair done.

 

Michelle Obama, 53

As well as making inspiring speeches and looking effortlessly stylish the whole time, the former US First Lady has made it her mission to use her position to empower young women and help them understand the importance of an education. She also has a sense of humour doing press-ups with Ellen de Generes and singing with Missy Elliot and James Corden on Carpool Karaoke. No wonder there have been calls for her to stand as the next president of the USA!

 

Heather Keating, 25

After being diagnosed with cervical cancer, Heather’s story went viral on social media. Aged 24 years old she was too young to be offered a smear test (free to all women between the ages of 25 and 60) so her pre-cancerous cell changes were never picked up and her illness went undetected. But once she was diagnosed with the cancer, she shared her symptoms online to help others detect the signs early. By documenting her journey, Heather has helped to actually save lives.

 

Simone Biles, 20

The American artistic gymnast stunned the 2016 Rio Olympics by winning five gold medals – the first female gymnast to ever do that. An incredible achievement by anyone’s standards, but the fact that Simone did this despite her difficult upbringing is even more impressive. As a child, her mum had an alcohol and drug problem so she spent time in foster homes before being adopted by her grandparents. Plus unlike other gymnastic stars she never left home to practise with an exclusive, elite coach, but just rose to amazing heights at her local gym.

 

Nimko Ali, 33

Somalian-born Nimko, who spent much of her childhood in Manchester, has campaigned tirelessly to bring to an end FGM (female genital mutilation). She is a director and co-founder of the not for profit organisation Daughters of Eve which helps raise awareness and provide education about FGM to young women and girls. No wonder this feisty lady has won the respect of thousands of men and women across the globe.

 

Amy Schumer, 35

Famous for telling it like it is, comedian Amy doesn’t care if others don’t like her outspoken comments, what she does or how she looks. Trolls who try to silence her don’t stand a chance. Sassy, smart and clever – Amy gives her unique take on tough subjects like body shaming and gun violence – areas where many others fear to tread. Good on her!

 

Laura Kuenssberg, 40

During Brexit we began to think that the BBC Political correspondent never slept as she did epic shifts to report on the biggest story of 2016 and the political fallout that followed. So far this year, she has also been the one reporter to make Donald Trump squirm when she called him out on some of his more controversial policies at a joint press conference with Theresa May. Fearless.

 

None of the women featured in this article are in any way affiliated with HRA or ellaOne.