Dear guy who refused to wear a condom,
It had been really nice to meet you. We had a lot in common, both enjoying visiting remote sandy beaches and walking through the streets of London at night. It was like a cheesy Rom-Com, slowly strolling with ice creams in hand and getting caught in summer rain. It was nauseatingly romantic, but I felt you really cared about me.
We’d been having sex for a few weeks, always using a condom. I had an IUD copper coil, but always like to use condoms to protect from STD’s, as the coil doesn’t cover this. Hands up, I’ve definitely had times where I haven’t used one, no one is perfect but I do try to be safe when I’m dating.
On that particular day I noticed at the last minute that you weren’t wearing a condom. I stopped you immediately. ‘Aren’t you going to put a condom on?’, I said and got one from your drawer. You had always had one on standby in the past, which I really appreciated. Rolling onto your front you said, ‘We’ve been dating for long enough now to not use condoms. Don’t you trust me?’.
I had heard of people using all kinds of excuses to not wear condoms: ‘I’m too big’, ‘ it ruins the moment’, ‘I can’t feel and enjoy the sex properly when I’m wearing one’ – just to name a few. But this was the first time it had happened to me.
I have to admit I was taken aback. I did trust you, but I still wanted to be safe. ‘It’ll be more fun without a condom’ you continued, ‘Don’t you want us to have fun?’. Fun? My idea of fun was not having to worry during and after sex!
You then delivered the most hurtful statement. ‘You are the first person who I’ve been with who insists on always using a condom’.