Dear my old friendship group from secondary school,
Remember our weekly after school sex ed lessons?
Where we’d discuss what they didn’t in biology?
We’d huddle in a McDonald’s, swapping horror stories over sweet and sour sauce, about the girl’s who lost their virginities and remained cosmically connected to the guy for the remainder of their lives.
We agreed it was the worst with the first, obvs, but “soul ties” – an emotional/spiritual bond that is formed after having sex with someone regardless of how little you know or even like them – could happen with whoever you slept with, whenever you slept with them.
For the most superstitious amongst us it went even deeper – character traits, bad habits and generational curses became your own, imprinted on your spirit forever thanks to a three minute fumble.
We’d regale each other with tales of so and so’s older sister, who never got over her first, or the girl in the year above who allegedly developed the same stammer as the guy she stopped seeing. It didn’t matter that we were having safe sex, “condoms will not protect you from spiritually transmitted diseases”, the saying went.