My partner is bisexual and I’m Transmasc Nonbinary – our relationship is anything BUT heterosexual – yet I still need to be able to access and use emergency contraception if I experience contraceptive failure or have unprotected sex, because pregnancy is still a possibility for me. That doesn’t change my sexuality or gender identity in any shape or form.
The queerest of individuals in the queerest of relationships may still decide to use emergency contraception!
If you feel comfortable and confident enough to do so, you can correct the pharmacist or doctor who is giving you the morning after pill and ask them to use gender neutral language. Again, this is something that takes a lot of courage to do. I came out as nonbinary to my local GP, heart pounding, sweat dripping under my binder, but it was a really euphoric experience for me and since then I always correct doctors when discussing anything sex-related.
But if you’re seeking emergency contraception on a one-off trip then it may not be worth the hassle – some battles just aren’t worth the emotional toil and that’s totally up to you (and is totally valid!)
If you want to avoid these situations altogether, you can order the morning after pill online, cutting out that awkward and dysphoria-inducing face to face conversation with a pharmacist. Postage is discreet, and that’s reassuring if you’re worried about being ‘outed’ to your neighbours or roommates etc. – which again may be another hurdle for Trans individuals who aren’t ‘out’ to others.
But let’s go back and start at the beginning – so you want to use emergency contraception to help prevent an unplanned pregnancy and you’re Trans… Now what? First, it’s important to remember that you shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed. Trans folks can have pregnancy scares just like everyone else and it’s totally valid to feel a little nervous.
Contraception fails sometimes, it happens to a lot of folks, and it even happens to us sex educators! Second, you must see a doctor, pharmacist or visit a sexual health clinic as soon as possible. This is because emergency birth control has a window of effectiveness: the sooner, the better!
This is also a perfect time to remind you that items such as pregnancy tests also have zero to do with your gender identity and solely to do with your reproductive organs. I always try to keep a few spare tests at home just in case, to help ease my nerves but again, buying items such as pregnancy tests can be super dysphoria-inducing at times. I personally try to buy them as part of my weekly shop, so they are almost lost amongst all the household items and veg. Plus, who knows who I’m buying the test for! It could be for my friend, or a sibling, or anyone!